高金心冷

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It's time to leave, I did not mean that leave my classmate or friend, in the opposite, I was and is out of place. 

The ceremony of graduation has been held, the banquet was over, some of people I saw in the corridor of hotel, the lawn in front of the restaurant, will never show up in my life any more, to whom I had no idea, but strangely, some melancholy raised. Recently, I read a lot of poets about leaving, I tried to experience, to enjoy the nuance feeling just before departure.

What do I loss in my life, I asked. Mr. Abbau is still with me, I am married with Mr. Mimico.
To me, this is the end of student era, although at the last part of it, I have no close friend to be with. One of my friend who is younger than me, said good-bye to me yesterday also, who graduated from Si Chuan University. The meeting is very short, and conversation is brief. And I came to the realization that to those people who will leave off to the new place for a new life, departure is mixed between melancholy as well as exciting. For a person like me, who will stay, departure means the silence of the world. Which remind me that, although there is hardly anyone who can be regarded as intimate among those my classmates, but their existence has been a sort of noisy ground of my life. I can not hear the clear voice of any of theirs, but they definitely create a sort of environment, which is poor but can be identified as student era.   

I know that, something is changing, slowly and silently.

I asked Mr. Mimico, I have no relation with this place, and wrote it down from time to time, but at the end why I am reluctant to give up? She just suggested that I am a person whose emotion would be raised by the dropping of a single leaf. Maybe I am a sensitive man, but one thing I am very sure, writing can help me in the term of experience.

Pro. Yang Yuzheng, maybe share the similar idea with me, he was the only person whose brief address at the ceremony moved me a little bit. The poem he incited by poet Gu Cheng as following:

赠别（顾城）

一千次
我读到分别的语言
一万次
我看到分别的画面
然而，
今天
是我们
--- 我和你
要跨过
这古老的门槛
不要祝福
不要再见
那些都象表演
最好是沉默
隐藏总不算欺骗
把回想留给未来吧
就象把梦留给夜
泪留给大海
风留给帆

 

There shall be no lie at the moment of departure. however, the gesture posted by those acquaintances are always good reason to forgive. And I believe that their departures has provided a referent point of my own life and makes me to ask where am I, now? I am a person in the past three years having no love with this place, but who tries to love it in the last few minutes.

 One can hardly leave their once suffering.